so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life
"According to reports, the sadly disfigured 26-year-old’s quality of life has been greatly diminished due to such a condition. Sources said the abnormal, visibly blemished creature has been repeatedly passed over for employment opportunities, frequently gawked at and harassed on the street by total strangers, and has faced near constant discrimination for over two decades, all due to the horrific and debilitating birth defect."
I love The Onion.
just what I was looking for
Men categorize women in one of four ways:
Mothers, virgins, sluts and bitches.
Of course none of the above is suitable for the modern business woman.
But you can create your own image by selecting pieces of each archetype that work for you.
The sexual attractiveness of the slut.
The wisdom of the mother.
The integrity of the virgin.
The independence of the bitch.
This leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you.
What they are forced to do instead is take you seriously.
been waiting for this for ages yo
Possibly the best Christmas post I have ever seen on Tumblr
dora may be exploring a little too much
breakfast just got a lot easier
“But, soft! What grunge through yonder window breaks?”